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I have felt the beginnings of self doubt and sadness; and even anger.
But, I’m still not use to it and it worries me every time. Im very upset but Im trying really hard to work on myself and confidence and self esteem I hadnt relised how men and women think so differently and Im 60 Regards xlizx My guy has been incognito for a little over two weeks now. So last time i heard from him was a non response to my messages.
I am in the middle of getting ready for my brothers wedding this weekend and there has been a lot of stress that i was chatting to him about. This is what i believe, and the article was spot on: the right man will not leave you.
Just because you meet someone and they don’t turn out to be who you thought or they disappointed you because they didn’t behave a certain way or meet certain expectations doesn’t mean that it wasn’t worth it. Not infatuation, which is what fools us most the time, and infatuation plays a BIG part when you first meet someone. but I haven’t heard a peep from him in 2 weeks, whereas, we used to communicate 15 times per day. What ever his reason(s) may be, he’s being a jerk, which is a side I never saw in him when we were dating, but by the Grace of God, I see his true colors.
We get too caught up in reality Bachelor/ette romance crap, love at first sight fantasies, Disney stuff, the fairytales that have been spoon-fed to us since kids or we read magazines about guys not calling you back because they’re not ‘that into you’, or girls not calling for the same reasons. I’ve been ghosted PLENTY of times by men but that’s not to say I haven’t ghosted guys either – and also probably when I wasn’t aware I was doing it! He is 57 and I am 51; this isn’t some lovestruck teenybopper relationship and one would think that at our age, we would know better to play games like ghosting. Now, if he got sick, of course I would be by his side, we promised we would never leave each other, and we had so many plans as a new family.
So think about the people you’ve ghosted and left in your trail of emotional destruction!! I just think you can’t expect too much from people, especially those you have just met, hooked up with a few weeks ago or have known even for a few months. I’ve known a couple of old people who were married for fifty years and they would look at each other and still wonder ‘Who the hell is this person? And it’s not always about the other person and what they’ve done to you. Well, my little ghost and I were ‘perfect’ the first 3 months of our 6 month relationship. his tone towards me was that since he has 3 kids, me being ill, I would be “just one more person to take care of. I am exercising more and getting fresh air, therefore am losing weight and ready to take on the world again.
He told me it was a slight chance I could be pregnant and yeah I got mad but it was as much as my fault as his. No calls, no messages, deleted me off his social media, I’m hurt. People aren’t definable, relationships aren’t definable. We meet someone, we go head on into “being serious”. As a woman I’ve been told by magazines, reality shows, media that relationships are this or that but the real deal is, humans are too complex to be fit into criteria.We get too caught up in how people are supposed to act and our expectations continually suffer because of it. What is a certainty is that you can always keep being plugged into your own life, at all times. Genuine respect, friendship, emotional connection is important when you first meet someone you might like.
Unfortunately I had unprotected sex with him and even after that we were still cool. I figured he probably does this all the time and I just fell for the scam. Look, I think people need to know (sorry for the caps, but) THINGS AREN’T DEFINABLE.But i stop them from becoming full blown by reminding myself that if his reason for disappearing is because of his unwillingness to support me when i’m going through a stressful time, do i really want that kind of relationship?I truly value my happiness and value as an individual.Sometimes I didn’t realise men were interested in me and I ghosted them unintentionally when it turned out they were interested, so, I have done the ghosting myself. He began to slither away, but we would always get back together. So, I am making the effort to work on myself, mentally I feel great.Thing is, everyone talking on this forum about being ghosted has probably done it themselves to others whether you realise it or not!!! It’s not just, “I met the greatest person and I’m so sad they weren’t into me.” Let emotion take a back seat, enjoy your life, take into consideration that you are still a catch, that you too have power (not just the person who decided to leave) and you should weigh up LOGISTICALLY whether they were actually, indeed, right for you. 3 weeks ago when I was in the hospital for a week after suffering my first seizures while at work, my ghost had had enough. I am finally sleeping and feeling rested allows me to make better decisions, I know I didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s his loss.And you can’t do the wrong thing with the right man.