Read the dating game online
Re the percentages, my current lover was about as low as I would usually accept (slightly under 70%).
In fact, I read the profile of his now-girlfriend and gave her two hearty thumbs-up before they went out because she was the first woman who I read about and thought, "This is a woman I would hang out with even if you weren't dating her." But why was I so down on potential online matches, or some of the women my friend considered dating? There are tons of obvious no-nos (racism, sexism, typos and any half-naked photos are among my personal no-gos and pet peeves), but after reading through hundreds of men's and women's dating profiles over the years, these things strike me as the things dating sites subtly encourage people to indulge in that makes the window of potential partners smaller than it really needs to be.
There were at least one of the following three warning signs in each profile that screamed, to me, "Don't Date This Person! [Image via Martin Ringlein on Flickr, Creative Commons licensed] For the most part I think this is great.
It says you should contact me if "you're not a cop nor a member of the military nor the justice system." It's there because I know I'll have major problems with what that person spends their time doing.
Those are jobs that violate my sense of ethics, and I'm not going to make more than a casual connection with folks whose livelihoods are based on violence.
And, when it comes down to it, you have to commit to the process: you are saying, in effect, that you wish to meet potential partners through a service we've all paid for in order to meet other potential partners. As a casual profile reader, I don't know either of you—but often, methinks someone doth protest too much. The Checklist Another side of the "Don't Bother If" coin is the profile that reads like a grocery list.
But I brought it up immediately because it would be a waste of time for me to go out with someone who wanted kids with me (I have 2 awesome ones already, thank you! I did have a few matches that were 95% and they were more strange than exciting to me. I'm a single mama with two kids and if you don't like kids, then pass on by.
I met my boyfriend on OK Cupid, we've been together since April 2009.Plus, there is my (pretty unrealistic) but ongoing fear of being murdered.THAT SAID, I could go for a history MA wearing skinny jeans right about now (In fact, I think you might be describing me! I rely on people showing their ass upfront like this in order to quickly identify that I probably never want to date them. Part of that is several of them are still involved in my life as friends; part of that is that the others often make for pretty funny stories.Focusing on who you are and engaging with other people as they are is the way to make meaningful connections. But I also include a "don't bother if..." line at the end of my OKCupid profile.Even if it's just a starting point for conversation.