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Friend dating my ex

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.

You’re like: You ask her about it and she’s like, “Oh, yeah, we have this in common, blah blah blah,” and you try to be cool about it but inside you’re like… You start to freak out, wondering what is going on.

She promises you she would never betray you like that and swears nothing shady is happening.

You’re dating this awesome guy and you’re happy and in love. You spend a lot of time ranting about her to anyone who will listen, you don’t care if they don’t want to hear it. For some reason, your ex-BFF gets mad at YOU for talking about her so much. When you run into them anywhere, you want to run the other way.

Then, for some reason or another, you guys break up. You try hanging out with new friends but mainly feel miserable and alone. You can’t understand why every other friend isn’t mad at her. But even though you’re furious with both of them, you still miss both of them so much and you hate it.

In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.

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Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.

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However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact.At first she’s so supportive and nice and says all the right encouraging things. She swears once again that nothing is happening between them, but you don’t believe her. A few days later, you see her write on his Facebook wall and you’re so mad you don’t know what to do. Then, out of nowhere, she starts to get weird about it whenever you bring up his name. A few weeks later, you find out (somehow) that she’s been really friendly with your ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.You feel good about the fact that you know your best friend would never do something like that to you…